It is ok to be a career-driven female, as long as you’re ALSO the one trying to balance family, chores and everything else

I saw this line posted in a forum and it resonated very deeply with me. This is the script that runs in your mind if you are a woman even if you are not aware of it. It feels like you have to be a superwoman, whereas your husband just has to be a breadwinner.

Now think about the wage gap between men and women. Women not making it to the top roles within an organization. Is there a correlation between women wanting/ expected to be a superwoman and these things?

Now let me run you through what goes on in a mind of a new mom when it is time to return to work after maternity leave. What is more important? Child or Work? Can you change your workplace? Sure, very easily. Can you change your child? No. How about a man? He knows there is someone putting the child above everything else, so he can peacefully work at his job and put it above everything else. Absolutely logical if you think about it.

Now is it logical to expect a man/ husband to do equal parenting?  Women wanted to work, contribute to society, so we made that leap. Do men inherently want to take up parenting. More so than the previous generation. But not necessarily to the extent female hormones such as oxytocin drives them to. So a man looking after a baby during 2 hours in the weekend when we go to grocery shopping or feeding once in awhile is the best a man is going to do to help out. Is this equal parenting, hell no. Do we want to change it? Not so sure.

Now consider if both husband and wife work, whose Career Comes First? If a woman drops out of workforce, the societal pressure is not as high as if a man drops out. Men are under tremendous pressure to keep working and perform and make a living. The invisible script that men carry is that so much of their self worth is tied to their profession or career.  So obviously the husband’s career comes first.  

With these things in mind, maybe looking at the motivation of all the people involved.  Moms first want to raise happy, productive children.  That’s their primary motivation. Secondly, as all human beings want they want to make an impact on the world. Maybe you are a bit different and don’t mind putting in 12 hour days at work and hiring help at home. Marissa Meyer, Indra Nooyi and Sheryl Sandberg all do it. But is that a reality with more moms? Let me know your thoughts